You can change how you roll.

Do you remember my Cathartic Confession I made the other week? No? Ok, well, in a nutshell, I have this absurd fear of actually getting what I have so-long desired and prayed for. WHAT. THE. HECK?! Who does that! And why would someone be afraid of that. Don't you think when you see it up ahead, you'd go running after it?

Apparently that's not how I roll. I roll in fear of that most of the time. Or so I thought...

My beautiful sister-friend Anissa (who has birthed the most amazing niece and nephews this auntie could have ever imagined!--Hey Kidlets!!!) and I were talking about this ridiculous fear I have. Later, she sent me an email that was so powerful it just about blew my head off. Seriously! In one short paragraph it summed up EXACTLY what is at the root of my fear.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson Isn't that what we're all really afraid of? We're not afraid of those things that we've been longing and praying for. No way! We wouldn't pray for those things and dream about them if we didn't truly want them. What we're afraid of is being who we were always meant to be and what we were always meant to be is awesome! God doesn't create duds. He only creates awesome. We are awesome. It's taken me time to marinate in that word and soak it all up. I wish I could sit here and type out that I have conquered that old nasty beast of fear, but for me it's a process of letting go. Or better still, it's a process of going so deep in Him that there is no room left for any fear. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18. For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 So here's my question for you: What are you so afraid of?