Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Website Wednesday

So in the new tradition I began on Monday, I've decided to roll with more. On Wednesday's I will attempt to offer a website that is interesting, fun, hip, and or any other random thing I may come across on my trips through the great World Wide Web.

I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that my absolute favorite website on the WWW is Amazon.com. Oh, Jesus, help me be strong! So I'm sure you assume that I would want to choose my beloved Amazon for the very first Website Wednesday, but you must hear me out as to why I lost the right to honor this beautiful website in the way in which it deserves.

Let me tell you the story...

As you know, I love to read and I adore the ease that Amazon offers me to shop books. One of my greatest loves in life! As of late, I have exercised the "Buy now with1-Click" button far too much. I have no idea to what it is connected--a credit card perhaps or a money tree in Idaho--I don't know and I didn't care. All I know is that when I press that glorious button, a receipt is sent to my email inbox with a promise that my beautiful new friend will soon be on its way to me. And lo and behold, in a few days time, my precious new book arrives in my mailbox, just begging me to unwrap it and lovingly spend the next several hours with it until I have devoured it sometimes more than once.

I had come to realize that I have become far to liberal with that wicked 1-Click button, especially when I would receive many, many, too many receipts in my inbox. It was then that I realized I was sliding down a slippery slope. So I did what any addicted person would do... I created a wish list. I thought it would be a wonderful way for me to shop and "buy" without using that naughty 1-Click button.

But by that time, I had accumulated a lengthy library of unread books just begging to be held and caressed. So that is what I did. Last week I binged on my delicious little books. They made me stay up till the wee hours of the morning most nights, to the point that my poor neglected husband begged me to put them down and come to bed with him. Normally I would jump into bed with him and have no more thoughts about anything but him, but not last week. It frustrated him to no end.

Finally one night I promised him that I would not stay up all night reading, but as I crawled into bed around 3am, he said simply, "I thought you said you wouldn't do this to me again." His voice was thick with sleep and the knife that was thrust into my heart went deep, twisted, and plunged in ever farther until I thought surely it was going to be the end of me. You said you wouldn't do this to ME again!

What had I done? My precious husband! I had clearly replaced him and never thought twice about it. There was nothing I could do about it then, but the next morning I rose early even though I had only gotten a few hours sleep. I tried apologizing but he just said that I needed to be done with my books. I said I would be.

Funny thing... I went to that wicked temptress Amazon and suddenly I began receiving receipts in my inbox. Oh dear! How did they get there? You pesky little 1-Click button. You are so naughty! You are sure to be the end of me.

I found out that evening what the 1-Click button was attached to--our checking account. My husband had know all along of my indescresions, but hoped I would stop on my own. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was to be done with that pesky 1-Click button and with that naughty Amazon! I was to have no more contact with either of them. I agreed that I would take a break. He said, "No! You are to be done with them. Is that clear?" He was deadly serious! Oh my... done?... for how long?... he wouldn't take them away forever, would he?

I was too scared of the answer to the question I longed to ask. How long? So I remained silent, hoping that in time he would grow to see that I am a changed woman and I could handle a few books every now and then. So I agreed. What else could I do? I love my husband and I knew that he was not joking at all. It had truly been a knife that cut me deep that night he told me I said I wouldn't do that to him again. He was through with it all. Time will only tell...

Oh my beloved Amazon and precious 1-Click, how I have abused you. Please forgive me. We will be together again in time, but first I must honor my vow of abstinence with you for this time of great testing. Please know this, dear Amazon and 1-Click, my love for you never wains even though we have to be separated. ...sigh...

So as you can see I cannot under any circumstances acknowledge the very thing that has become the third member of my marriage. I cannot tell you all the wonderful things about Amazon. I cannot tell you how it has everything under the sun. I can't describe to you the ease with which one can maneuver through its vast pages of anything you could need or want. I cannot speak of the great wonder that is the 1-Click button. I cannot. Hush now!

Instead I will share with you a site that is relatively new to me and I quickly fell in love with it. Since finding it a couple weeks ago, I have visited often, though never participating with it beyond repeated thorough perusals. (Some vices should not be tempted beyond what I KNOW I can handle--it's not wise).

So for now, I only allow myself to look. (Heaven help my checkbook if I start to partake of these delectable goodies. I am beginning to wonder if my constant "looking" is healthy or if it will inevitably lead me to taste that which I cannot have.) Oh but the sheer beauty of it all is breath-taking.

Lord, help this weak woman! My husband will not be kind if he should find another love threatening to usurp his place as the object of all my affections.

It is my hope that by sharing this site with you, I can avert a sneaky tryst with it. If I share my love with you then it is not mine to covet. So here you are...


Oh glorious shoes, you beacon me with your lovely heels. Stop it! Stop it, now! It cannot be! Not now! Not ever. I have but one love and he is jealous!

But just look at what can be had...




I am a weak woman...

3 comments:

  1. scott1:43 PM

    stinkin' one click...stinkin' cursed one click!
    grrrrr

    ReplyDelete
  2. but I love YOU, my precious Music Man! For always and for ever!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's hilarious! What a love triangle!!!

    ReplyDelete

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