Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm the hamster living in the Valley of Indecision

I need to make some decisions soon about a few different things and I can't for the life of me make up my mind. It's nothing life-altering or anything but I keep going back and forth weighing out all my options.

You know those hamsters that run in the wheels? They run and run but never actually get anywhere. That's how I feel. I'm running circles without making any progress.

The thing about these decisions is that I feel like I know what I SHOULD do because it's expected of me but doing that isn't what I really want to do. But do I NOT want to do it because I just don't FEEL like it or is it because I'm not supposed to???

I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm ready to carve away all the fluff. I want to get rid of all the stuff that may be good to do and even beneficial to me (and others) but is keeping me from being available to do the things that are life-changers. the good, God-appointed stuff. That's the stuff that excites me.

So I ask myself these questions in regards to everything I do lately...

Why am I doing this?

What is the purpose of this?

Is this the best use of my time?

Is it a perfect God-fit or am I forcing it?

Have I waited on God or am I telling Him what to do?

Am I taking away someone else's opportunity to be used by God?

Can I accomplish this in a more efficient way?


These questions help me to wade through all the good intentions I have. They help to make sense of events and commitments. They give purpose to what I do which in turn brings purpose to my life.

I still feel like a hamster, though, and it's really starting to drive me nuts. Just with these few decisions. I'm in a bit of a catch-22 with this way of thinking. I hate letting people down and no matter what I decide I'm afraid I'll disappoint someone.

Ugh! Someone please get me off this wheel!!!






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