Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Are They Really That Clueless?

On Sunday I felt like crap.  All morning as I tried to get myself ready for church I just couldn't catch my breath.  My heart would race a bit and I felt as though a ton of bricks was sitting on my chest.  It was awful.  Because of this I didn't have time to do my hair so I dried it curly and pulled it back into a soft ponytail.  Then I couldn't put my panty hose on because every time I tried I couldn't breath.  So I finally settled on a pair of black palazzo pants and a gold silky dress with a little black sweater to stay warm.  I felt like crap.  I felt like I looked like crap.  And to top it all off... I still couldn't breath.  

We weren't late for church, thankfully, but the whole morning I was self-conscious about my crazy curly hair and flowing outfit that I felt made me look fatter than I really am.  I was shocked when someone complemented me on how I looked.  Then another one did.  Then another.  Then someone was even nuts enough to tell me they liked my hair better curly like it was than straight!  (Are they on drugs?!)  The next day a girlfriend of mine called to tell me how great I looked, and another one emailed me the same.  (Seriously, people!  Of all days to complement me--not the day I look the worst!)  I got more complements that day on how I looked than I have ever gotten.  

The whole point of this ridiculous post is to tell you how while my girlfriends are all clearly out of their minds, but still quite complementary, my husband's friends are just typical men.  One of Scott's best friends, who shall remain nameless, other than to say that to say that his name rhymes with Don Babrielli, not only noticed, but proceeded to comment to my husband that I have the pregnancy waddle!  

To make this even worse, my husband, a man who sometimes fails to understand the precarious hormones of his pregnant wife, thought it was so funny that Don had said this and thought I would find it equally funny.  I didn't.  I was shocked, horrified, and embarrassed almost to the point of being humiliated.  I'm only 23 weeks along--far too early to be waddling!  Besides!  I felt like crap on Sunday.  I was chasing after my 3 year old most of the day.  I was also suffering from a very painful pain in an delicate spot (which I believe is what caused me to limp!!! Not waddle.  There is a huge difference between limping and waddling!)  Oh and did I mention that I couldn't breath!?  AT ALL!!!

Bless my precious Music Man because as he's telling me this on Sunday night and I'm getting upset, his eyes take on that look that every man gets when his wife has an emotional breakdown over nothing and he has no idea how it started or how to make it stop.  He tried to comfort me by saying that he loved my waddle and thought "it was cute."  Poor man.  That was the worst thing he could have said!  What is wrong with men?

So the next morning, right before I woke up, I dreamt that he and Don (who I have always liked immensely) were discussing my waddling while flirting ostentatiously with skinny hot chicks right in front of me.  I was so mad at him.  He then woke me up but I was still so caught up in my dream that I really was mad at him and completely ignored him.  It took me a good couple hours to get over that creepy feeling you get when you dream a dream that is so real it actually feels like you lived it.  He laughed about the dream when  told him, but it still bothers me a little. 

I am feeling a bit better today.  I can now breath for the most part and the delicate pain has lessoned somewhat.  I have been practicing my walk, too.  I'm not going to waddle until I'm ready to waddle this son of mine on outta me.  

But still!  The fact that they noticed and discussed me waddling irritates me something fierce.

Music Man!?  Are you listening to me?  You and Don owe me BIIIIIIIIG TIME!!!  You better get creative because I just may tell Don's wife, Mandy, what he said and then he'll really be in trouble!  


  1. Melis, I have no doubt that you looked beautiful, you are and you have a knack for putting together stunning outfits! Also, I agree with you Scott and the other guy do owe you big...they really are clueless.

  2. So, I don't think you would have appreciated Tony's comment that he said when we took a birthing class when I was pregnant with Caleb. As part of the class you go and visit the labor/delivery floor at the hospital to get familiar with where you will be delivering. We were at the back of the group. There were about 15 other pregnant women and their significant others in front of us trodding down the hallway. Tony made a little "moooo" sound and said he felt like a cattle herder. Thankfully nobody else heard him, but I knew he was just talking about all the other pregnant women. Right?

  3. Oh my friend, I feel your pain. I had my friends making fun of me and my waddle. It is not nice. Like we choose to waddle? I don't think so. I think I told Eric everyday I wished he could carry these babies for one day and then he wouldn't be laughing.


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