Thursday, April 20, 2006

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I don't normally read FWD's when they pop up in my inbox, but I do enjoy ones like this. I hope you get a kick out of these.

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY(age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

Diane (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget....
"Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward Heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Ok, I have to add just one more. My former youth pastor's daughter Hannah was probably 3 or 4 when this happened. They were in the car and Hannah was drinking a juice box. At one point she said, "Daddy, Jesus is in my heart..." PK was thrilled to hear his daughter say such a powerful thing, but before that thought was completed he heard Hannah go on to say, "I know Jesus is in my heart because He's drinking all my juice!"


  1. Very cute! It was nice to have a laugh today!!

  2. Tbose are so funny! I laughed out loud! I just had to tell you one that Josiah said when he was three! We had just finished watching Jonah from veggietales, and I took him shopping for groceries with me. There was a beautiful black lady with a huge rounded afro there. Josiah pointed at her and started laughing out loud. He said "MoM! She's got broccoli hair!" I was so embarrassed! Needless to say, I won a veggie tale video on the radio with that story!


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