Thursday, September 22, 2005

My Testimony...

Tonight I'm speaking at the "About Face." It's a ladies meeting thing we have every so often at church. We just started it and I guess it's going to just be a time where we can all come together and get to know each other. The wms executive board asked me to speak along with our youth director's wife. They wanted to hear our testimonies and the purpose God has laid upon our hearts. So for the last couple weeks since I agreed to do this, I have been praying about what to share tonight. I didn't want it to be all about me. I wanted to share with the women the word that the Lord would have for them. I believe that one of my purposes in life is to be the voice to God's heartbeat for women. I don't like talking about myself when I feel like I there are so many women that need to know their true worth in Christ and discover their own greatness as a daughter of the King.
In Wausau it was easier for me because Linda and I just did whatever we wanted to. We were the ones who planned the events and directed the flow of things. It was the vision that God gave us. I still firmly believe that God has given me a vision for First Assembly's women. I was going to say that it is hard coming from a place where you are the one making all the decisions to a place where you are basically bottom of the totem pole so to speak, but hard isn't the right word. It is just different. Not in a bad way, just different. I have been asked to co-lead the ministry to women and accepted. I am not sure to what capacity I will be used. The women's ministry is a well oiled machine that pretty much runs itself here.
I know that God has given me a simple message to bring to every woman I meet. He has given me ideas and vision of what to do to reach women. One of my most trusted friends and intercessor recently shared with me a dream she had about me. God speaks to this women and I listen to what He says. Through this dream He showed her that "you (me) are growing as a leader of women...you will be mentoring more women...your ministry is right before you." I was speechless when I read what she had written! As I read it over and over I cried. You see, it's like this: God gives you a glimpse of your life's purpose and so you head in that direction. He opens doors and you follow knowing that it is all in preparation for the future calling. Then suddenly the future is now and you are at the edge of the cliff ready to jump into everything you have been dreaming of and praying for for years. All the hard work and tough times have lead you to this moment in time....and you are scared to death to take that jump! You can't believe that you could possibly be ready. You were sure that the future was to be decades away and here it is, right in front of you screaming for you to come in. Do you hesitate and say, "Wait, God! I need more time!" or jump right in with both feet trusting that God know what He's dong even though things not be happening the way you envisioned they would? Well, that's where I am. There is no way I am going to sit still and let this pas before me, but that doesn't mean I am not still nervous. I still wonder why God chose me to do His bidding. But I know that God chooses those with whom He can mold and shape as He see fit, rather than those who have it all together.
So, pray for me. I long for each women to feel the kiss of heaven tonight. I don't want anyone going away thinking about me. I want them to leave feeling like the gorgeous, adored daughter they truly are.

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